We Broke Up…

[Please keep in mind this is an old post and I am completely over this now]

Well then, here’s a slightly sad post….the title says it all, you know what’s happened. 
I wasn’t going to say anything about what’s happening in my ‘real’ life but then I remembered that I don’t have to impress anyone on here. This blog was made so I could anonymously rant and tell you guys everything, even if you don’t know who I am.

 Just before I start this post I’ll give you a few details – He was once one of my best friends, I broke up with him, we’re not on brilliant terms right now. In some ways, it’s my fault….I said some things I regret but I’m glad they’re in the open. He, however, said many, many horrible things and because of that I’m not quite ready to forgive him, he’s not being a particularly nice person as of right now but that’s just life.

So here it is, plain and simple, we broke up – We dated for barely a month but in so little time so much happened. He was one of my best friends and somehow we ended up together. Our relationship was pretty awful to be honest, a lot of upsetting things happened and I doubt he really cared. In fact, both me and one of my best friends are convinced he likes one of our other best friends…brilliant.
The first best friend I mentioned, she’s the one who helped me break up with him even though my now ex-boyfriend was her best friend, now ex-best friend after they had a huge fight. I’m not going to go into too much detail on why I broke up with him because it would take too long, however, for one there was no trust in our relationship but more importantly I didn’t see myself with him or particularly want to be with him which if anything is a pretty solid reason.

It was all going to be fine -I broke up with him, yes, but he was okay about it – “you’re a really amazing person” he said “I want you to be part of my life, we’ll do whatever makes you happy”. I believed that would happen and for once, I truly trusted he believed that too. And you know what, it would have been fine, genuinely fine, if everyone else had stayed out of it. But no, once everyone else got involved it became messy – now I can’t even look him in the eye, he’s an idiot. 
The tension got ridiculous, we all said things we regret. So I confronted him, said that everything going on was stupid and we should just be civil. He agreed. Of course, him and my best friend still hate each other so it was never going to go back to how it was before. But we’re civil. Granted, we don’t talk to each other but we can put up with each other seeing as we share a lot of friends. Instead of barging past me, he’ll hold open a door….instead of turning away stubbornly, I’ll politely thank him.

It’s not perfect, in many ways I wish I’d never dated him – that we’d just stayed best friends – because then none of this would have happened. Hopefully with time things will slowly sink back into place, it’s never going to be the same but maybe one day we’ll be able to joke around and talk again….just not yet.
 The fact is, he isn’t the nice guy I thought. All of this has made him show a side of himself I’ve never seen and that’s quite a scary thought. The idea that, if we’d stayed together for longer, I’d have been dating a person who has the ability to turn against someone that quickly and to use their insecurities against them heartlessly, terrifies me. If I’d stuck it out like I’d originally planned, things could be so much worse.

Overall, I’m pretty happy. Yeah, it’s messy but that’s just how life works. And okay, it’s awkward, but so am I so I can’t say much. Time is one of the best healers and even if that doesn’t work, as it is right now isn’t too bad. This whole thing has made me realize that sometimes things don’t work out….and that’s okay. I don’t need to blame myself, analyze every detail obsessively and stress out to the point I become ill. Instead I’ve learnt to just focus on the positives and notice all the good things that are happening in my life, even if they are mixed in with a couple things that aren’t so good.

Wow, this post was long, thank you for reading this far! Feel free to leave any stories you have in the comments, I love to hear from you just as much as I love to post!!

{___} My LifeOnline {13/11/16}

100 Followers Reaction!

Wait, what? I hit 100 followers! Naturally, I decided to write down my reaction as my follower count got higher and higher -so here it is:

Guys, omg we are so close to 100 followers! 
That’s crazy! I mean, I’ve uploaded 9 posts, got 100s of views, loads of comments and almost 100 followers in just…umm, I don’t know how many days. Haha, well this is awkward, let me go check…

*frantically goes to check the date from the first post*

4th of August! The date of my first post! So that was, umm….what’s the date today? *sigh* one second!

*Shouts out window asking the date*

26th of August! Wait, really? Oh god…it’s almost September and that means school! Okay, that’s beside the point!

Why did I shout out my window? It says on my phone… Oh well, thanks whoever replied!

Finally we got there! I’ve been blogging for 22 days!

94 followers, eek! Getting closer!!

Ahh, notification from WordPress! Is it a follower? Yes! 95!

96! *Smiles excitedly – stares at phone expectantly*

97! I’m so excited but at the same time I’m so tired (it’s late at night whoops)

*Falls asleep – wakes up the next day*

I can’t believe I fell asleep, I mean it doesn’t make any difference whatsoever but ugh

*checks WordPress – squeals loudly*
100 FOLLOWERS!! Ahh!!

Thank you guys so much! Not just for the amount of followers (even though that is pretty fabulous) but for all the lovely comments! My favourite part of starting this blog is the amount of interaction it’s got – the comments seriously make my day!

Just to show some recognition to you guys for commenting, when I get home, I’m going to be setting up a top commenter(s) feature on my blog! This way, those of you lovely people who comment on all my posts or have commented loads (the most), will in a way have a constant shoutout as long as they keep commenting! But please make the comments relevant, not just a random spam. I will have to delete any that don’t make any sense or any duplicates of the same comment, sorry! Anyway, enough rambling! See you soon!


200 ~ click here

300 ~ click here

400 ~ click here

500 ~ click here

800 ~ click here

900 ~ click here

1,000 ~ coming soon!

{100} My LifeOnline {28/08/16}

200 Followers Reactions!

Okay, what? I’ve come back from this giant almost month long disappearance during which I thought you would all have abandoned me and see that I’m almost at 200 followers….what? I’m actually in shock – this is so surreal. Especially since I had convinced myself that I would return and have like 1 follower, not 193!

194….this is cra-Zy!

*A little while later*

I’m an awful person….I had so much to do that I kind of put this blog to the side and once again haven’t posted for ages….I just noticed I has a missed notification, a very important missed notification…..THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR 200+ FOLLOWERS,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, thank you for sticking with me throughout my absence, for being the best most loyal and lovely people in the world. I would love to promise regular posts but as my life is so busy that may not be possible. With exams and studying I find it hard to write posts when I know I have homework next to me to do. 
And then there’s the whole issue with time…my entire social life has completely and utterly changed since September. I now have a completely different and much larger group of friends and among them, a group of people I’m extremely close to and talk to practically 24/7. I’ve suddenly found myself going from being the awkward person with a select group of best friends and many acquaintances to being a sociable girl with many amazing people surrounding me. 
For this I’m grateful but of course it means I have less time to dedicate to my blog….I’m trying but sometimes other things have to take up my time, no matter how much I love my blog and you guys.

What I’m trying to say is that posts may not be regular but only because I only want to present the best quality to you, no rushed awful posts because that’s not what you came to read! However, prepare for many upcoming posts that I know will go up! 
How do I know? Well, I’ve already written a load that just need a little more then they’re done! They may not have cover pictures though….I haven’t had time to make any of those haha 

100 ~ click here

300 ~ click here

400 ~ click here

500 ~ click here

800 ~ click here

900 ~ click here

1,000 ~ Coming Soon

{200} My LifeOnline {12/11/16}

I’m Sorry

I’m sorry. Two, simple words ; so hard to say. Pfft, who am I kidding…antidisestablishmentarianism is way harder to say than ‘I’m sorry’.

So, I’ll rephrase it – I’m sorry, two over used words ; so often not heartfelt, so often not truly meant. Well, I’m going to use these simple, over used words – I’m sorry for not posting, I’m sorry for not replying to your comments, I’m sorry for not reading and liking your posts. I’m sorry

Call it cliché but I do have my reasons. It’s not even like any sort of deep, meaningful reason but it’s not just me being lazy. Actually, I was being lazy – no, just stupid, I was being stupid. Confused? Me too…And I’m meant to be the one writing this. Let me explain. Actually there’s not much to explain, I’ve no idea why I’m talking in riddles.

Basically my phone broke. Shut down. Died. Boom. And I, being the phone addict I am, had all my posts stored in a folder…on my phone. I would write them, edit them and store them in this folder….I didn’t back the folder up. So when my phone died along with it went around 20, finished posts and about 30 more drafts. Wow.

Not gonna lie, that kinda uninspired me – I really hate the idea of rewriting these posts because I just know that they’re not going to be as unique, as witty, as the first one. So instead of telling you this I just ignored WordPress for a long time. Then earlier I got a notification telling me someone had just followed me…that I had 191 followers. 

Then it hit me, you guys followed me for a reason – because you enjoy reading what I have to say. And by not saying anything, wasn’t I letting you all down? So here I am, I’m back. Now posting may be irregular, it may be slow as I start from scratch, but I’ll get there – scrap that, we’ll get there.

I don’t usually do this but feel free to leave post ideas below! Anything from rant topics to back to school, random thoughts to my autumn obsession!
And that’s a wrap! Thank you for sticking with me and my awkward ways haha

P.S. To those who messaged me and asked if I was okay, thank you – it means a lot to know you guys care!
{___} My LifeOnline {22/10/16}

My First Post

Well hello there!

Honestly, I have no idea how to start this, what exactly I’m going write, what I’m  doing with my life, what the meaning of life is- woah, too deep…lets just backtrack. 

Okay so this is my first post…obviously. I mean, if you read the title you would know but I guess if you can’t read…wait. 

Obviously you can read. That was stupid, huh? *Awkward laughter*

Moving on, I decided a while back I wanted to start a blog. I used to have one but the posts felt forced and too…perfect? I would only blog the good things like traveling and amazing, not awkward, stuff. Yeah, it’s really nice to share the good stuff but maybe not all the time. If you take all the not so good out of your life are you really you? 
That’s why I decided to start completely fresh. This blog is where I can truly share my life, embarrassing stories and all. I’m just really hoping people can relate.

Prepare for many awkward, possibly embarrassing and probably relatable rambles. Anything from awkward situations and friendships to tripping over in public and general clumsiness. Though I’m probably going to add the odd, probably unnecessary, photo in as a thumbnail because I love photography.

Well, I’m gonna stop talking (or writing) now…and probably start writing (or saying) a couple more of the many posts I have planned!

Make sure to comment below just so I know someone can relate or at least that someone’s actually reading. Okay, now I’m actually going to stop…I don’t really have any final words so umm, bye?
{___} My LifeOnline {04/08/16}