I broke up with him…

I haven’t mentioned this at all on my blog because honestly, I’ve been lucky to be pretty much unaffected by it. Even as this post goes up, it’ll probably be a month or two after this happened (yay for prewritting!) but I thought I’d just, well, have a chat with you guys!

I was dating this lovely guy. Honestly, he’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met [EDIT: Coming back to this post over a month later, I have since the time of writing realised that maybe he’s not such a nice person but that’s understandable, I did break up with him after all] 

and even as I was breaking up with him he was still talking about what an amazing person I was. Let me repeat that: I was breaking up with him and he was still stopping me from putting myself down and telling me I was amazing and beautiful and whatever.

I didn’t really have much of a reason to why I broke up with him other than the fact he came into my life at a time I was under a lot of pressure and wasn’t in the right mindset to have a relationship. Nethertheless, I dated him but knew the whole time that I wasn’t truly as into this relationship as he was and it felt too unfair on him to stay like that. I didn’t want a relationship whatsoever and sometimes you just have to put yourself first because staying with him would have been the worst thing I could of done for eitherof us.

He told me he loved me. I told him I couldn’t say it back. That’s one thing I will always feel so bad about but I knew I couldn’t just lie and say I loved him when I knew I didn’t.

Of course, the whole “we’ll stay friends” thing was said but in the back of my mind, even as I said those cliche words, I knew that no matter how much I would miss our friendship I had to practically break contact with him. [Edit: I have spoke to him since, but we used to be really good friends and met up outside of school which we no longer do] God, that sounds so harsh but I had to do it – if I kept spending so much time with him he’d never have the opportunity to get over the relationship. I wasn’t in the same predicament because I didn’t have anything to ‘get over’.
[EDIT: In the end, it didn’t really work out because we now just don’t talk. However, my previous ex and myself are now good friends again, to the point I was one of the first people he invited to his house party the other week and we brought each other birthday presents so maybe it will all work out in the end!]

So I let him be. From what I hear from his friends, he’s not upset anymore but does miss me. 

The idea that someone was and may still be in love with me is so surreal, it’s something I’ve definitely not got my head around and I doubt I ever will.

Have you guys been through anything similar to this? Make sure to leave your stories in the comments!

{877} My LifeOnline {07/04/17}

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19 thoughts on “I broke up with him…

  1. YES! lol i can relate, I had to cut someone off because I was too in love with them and they were on the other side of the world so I couldn’t be with them. even now after not talking, I’m still madly in love with him and I don’t think he even knows or thinks I care. But it’s all good, in the end things always end up working out 💚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I had such a similar experience that it scares me. My first boyfriend was much more into the relationship than I was but I pretended everything was fine – then we broke up and didn’t speak. Now, we talk but it’s not the same at all – I’m glad – and he’s over me but still misses me. Thanks for sharing this because I KNOW I’m not alone. I’m glad you did what was best for yourself and him: you’re being selfless whilst looking after yourself. I admire you xx

    Liked by 1 person

        1. I’m glad everything’s better now even if it has affected you – I hope it all blows over 🙂
          And thank you! I’ll be sure to message you if I ever need to talk about it though as things are I’m pretty sure it’ll all turn out okay ❤

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Never been in love, either, but I envy your ability to be honest as possible with yourself and the situation. Most people think they might be able to be friends after, but a clean break is probably best with others, and you were honest with yourself on that. Good for you. Be good to yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I talked about all of my relationships in my first ever blog post (as you may know) and I talked about a boyfriend I had in high school. I broke things off with him because I didn’t feel a connection with him later in the relationship. Initially, he hated me. He refused to make eye contact with me in the hallways at school, he would bad mouth me to our mutual friends, but after high school, we reconnected. I can honestly say that he is one of the only handful of people that I’ve stayed in contact with from high school. Plus, I’m invited to his wedding in June!! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I’ve never been in love but it sounds so exhilarating! It was so mature of you to realize that his feelings were stronger than yours, and to stop things for his sake. I’ve been in that situation before and you feel bad at the time, but know that what you’re doing is right. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 2 people

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