Coachella (RANT)

This year I finally did it, I went to Coachella!….in my dreams.

Ugh, as I write this we’re in the middle of a Coachella related social media frenzy and I’m jealous beyond belief.
 If I see one more #Coachella photo on my Instagram I could scream

Have you guys ever been to Coachella? Or even America? Let me know in the comments!

That said, every single photo on my Instagram feed is of Coachella and I still ‘like’ them so I guess I’m not as bitter as I seem?

Why can’t I just finally embrace the mermaid I truly am? Let me live as the most Tumblr being possible, just for a weekend?

Oh wait, but I’m like, umm, a lot of miles away. I’ve no idea how many actually, let me just google it.

5,000+ miles. Wow.

Ughhh, why so far omg let me go to Coachella please please please thank you please

You know what, who needs Coachella anyway? 

Pffft, I’m much happier right here than I would be at Coachella

I mean, the crowds there are huge and who can deal with that?

Plus I doubt half the people can even see the stage when they’re watching a show.

Right, before I get into a huge ramble about why I’m better here than at Coachella, I’m going to go hahah. Comment below if you’ve ever been, or know someone whose been, to Coachella!

{9__} My LifeOnline {19/04/17}

Thoughts Baking

I feel like baking today so you know what? I’m going to spend an entire day baking! 

Hopefully today’s one of those days where I’m actually successful – I have days where everything I make goes perfectly and days where I burn waffles in a toaster (true story, unfortunately).

Hmm, what first? I’ve gone through two of my recipe books and bookmarked about seven things but I doubt I’ll be able to make them all

Saying that, I originally had around twenty things but I managed to narrow those down

I think I’m going to make honey comb first so I can leave it to cool when I start the next thing?

Ooh, I’ll make all the things that need to go in the fridge or freezer first so that they can cool all day

Honey comb is done and it was actually pretty successful!

I should probably pack up and wash everything I just used before I start the next thing

The next recipe is for raspberry mouse but I used to make this so much I’m not even going to bother with the recipe 

Fun fact: I made this in a food tech assessment (last year when I still took food tech as a subject) and got the highest marks in my class; I just remember my teacher being shocked at how quickly I made them and how I didn’t use a recipe. Actually, I think I got bonus marks for presentation, speed and accuracy (maybe even points for not using the recipe)

Slight issue, I don’t actually have half the ingredients, including raspberries

Oh well, I’ll improvise

I tend to only use recipes for the measurements and I never follow the method, sometimes I go so far as to not even read the method and just make it up! It’s probably the reason why some things I bake are amazing and others have to be binned

This wasn’t planned but I just made a nacho sauce so that I can have nachos for lunch

Back to baking: I’m currently looking for a fruit to replace the raspberries 

Actually, I’m going to temporarily pause the mouse because I can go and buy raspberries later

Hmm, choc-chip cookies, carrot muffins, fudge, cheese biscuits or chocolate truffles?

I think cheese biscuits because they’re yet another thing I can make without any recipe at all

Actually, I’ll do both the fudge and the biscuits at the same time because productivity 

My mum made brownies this morning too so by the end of the day we’re going to have an entire table covered with freshly baked food

Why is icing sugar so messy 

I need 450g of icing sugar but I only have 150g so ummm, I’m gonna have to find a way around this 

 

I’m going to divide everything in the recipe by three (yay for maths)

I think that’s worked, I mean, it looks how it should and the mixture tastes good

Yep, they’re good, my family taste tested the mixture – to the fridge it is!!

Onto the cheese biscuits!

Recipe: This makes 15 biscuits

Me: *Makes 50 biscuits*

No idea how I managed to make 50 but I mean, the more the merrier!

It. All. Tastes. So. Good.

Whooo, I was actually successful with all my baking for once!

Can you guys bake or cook? Which do you prefer? Tell me your stories in the comments!!

{967} My LifeOnline {18/04/17}

Why I Loaf Bread

Whooo, it’s Monday Punday, here’s some puns:

Bread Puns:

Them: I challenge you to make puns on something you hate (aka bread)

Them: I’m not bready for this

Me: Great pun masters aren’t just made, they’re bread.  You see, i’m on a roll, I don’t even knead to think. I loaf bread puns, are these getting stale?

Them: Those are some hot cross puns

Me: I’m bread, puns kill me

Me: I just loaf bread puns dough much. At yeast they’re pretty good?

Them: They’re amazing, like HOW

Me: I butter keep making them then. 

Me: You’re a weirdough though

Me: I doughnut stop making puns

Me: What are we even doughing?

Me: Are these puns allryete?

Them: Omg

Me: Are they getting crumby?

Me: Or do you just have naan

Them: Pretty seedy

Me: I baguette how I started making puns

Them: Don’t ignore my pun or I’ll get salty

Me: That’s the yeast of your problems

Me: I knead puns okay

Them: I’m dead

Me: Don’t you mean bread?

Me: God, you’re getting crusty


{954} My LifeOnline {17/04/17}

Awful Teacher (RANT)

Right, hi, hello – I need to rant. I’m not going to bother with an introduction, instead I’m going to get straight into it because I need to get this off my chest and my friends and I have already ranted about this a lot.

Okay, firstly, a very short back story: Due to ‘personal reasons’ my amazing English teacher is not teaching my class for the next 8 weeks and for the past few lessons the literal devil, in the form of a substitute teacher, has been ‘teaching’ us. I use quotation marks because no one in their right mind could seriously count that as teaching.

This teacher is truly a demon. She pronounces key words incorrectly, she doesn’t listen and most importantly she doesn’t teach. We’re currently working on poetry and our actual teacher let us contribute and build upon ideas when analysing so that the whole class was involved and with our combined knowledge, each analysis of each poem ended up detailed, accurate and worth high marks. This teacher, however, put a (may I say, extremely awful) YouTube video on and expected us to learn from that. Let me just repeat that: she made us learn important analysis that we need to know for our exams…from a YouTube video. 

As her inability to pronounce words bothered me greatly, I wrote two words on a sheet of paper (enjambment and caesura) and put my hand up, preparing to ask her how to pronounce them even though I knew perfectly well what the correct way was. I literally had to wait 10 minutes before she finally came over to me. Oh, but it gets worse. Instead of telling me how to pronounce them, she proceeded to try and (wrongly) explain what they mean. 
Frustrated, I kept telling her that *insert actual teachers name* had already taught us this and that I already knew what they meant but she continued ‘explaining’ them, angering me more. However, I’m a top student and have never even received a detention so I stayed calm and didn’t confront her, simply repeating that I already knew what they meant and correcting her errors. After she finally told me how to wrongly pronounce the words, she then had the nerve to tell me I’d spelt one of them wrong (spoiler alert: I hadn’t – I literally went and got a dictionary to check  and oh, who’d of guessed it, she was wrong). 

That all happened on the second lesson I had with her (the first was pretty uneventful as most of the class was missing for a sporting event). Moving on to the third lesson, well, let’s just say everyone has the same view as me and we all dislike her strongly. The first offence she made that lesson was literally just the poem she chose to analyse. We had, up until that point, been working through our anthologies in order (which only makes sense seeing as that’s how the exam board recommend you do it) but this teacher chose a really random one from the back of the book. 
Having already angered the majority of the class, she then doesn’t even let us read the poem before playing the first YouTube video she saw that coincidentally was really bad at analysis. She also refused to let us look at any context for the poem, which may I add is a key part of our assessment.

Having not even had the opportunity to read the poem and with no idea what was going on, many students simply put down their pens and decided against any form of analysis as protest. I attempted to take a few notes from the lesson but mainly just used my own ideas.

 Usually we spend anything from one to three lessons of detailed analysis on a single poem and usually at least half a lesson on context. This teacher gave us half a lesson with a youtube video to analyse the poem with no context at all before moving on to the next poem. Oh, did I mention, the next poem she chose to analyse was actually before the one we’d just done? It’s also apparently the hardest poem to analyse in the entire anthology…and all we had was an awful video…ahah, watch us fail our exams.

Another point was the fact that none of us really got much work done because we were all taking it in turns to argue with her. Though not starting any arguments myself, I did contribute to them simply by stating fact and pointing out many of her countless errrors. One of my friends asked her what a word meant and though my friend genuinely didn’t know the meaning, even she could tell just how wrong this teacher’s words were due to her inability to explain. In fact, this girl simply stood up half way through this teachers ‘explanation’ and went to the back of the room to get a dictionary and find out herself.

I’m the end, almost everyone in the class took it in turns to ask to go to the toilet simply just to escape from this teacher and lesson. Of course, the teacher must have noticed something was going on and this annoyed her greatly but she was too oblivious to realise much else.

 She spent most the lesson telling us things (which we all later looked up and saw to be untrue), wrongly correcting our correct spellings, wrongly pronouncing words, arguing with students, not listening to us, wrongly answering questions, not letting us read the poem we were analysing, not telling us any context, rushing us through poems and ‘teaching’ through a YouTube video. Oh and many more things I simply cannot be bothered to list.

Rant over (for now): do you guys have any ‘teacher horror stories’? Let me now in the comments!
[UPDATE: I wrote this rant around half a month ago and I can safely say we never saw the demon teacher again after those few lessons. Whether that was because every class she taught reported her for being a bad teacher or whether she just wasn’t needed, I don’t know. We still don’t have back our actual teacher but the ‘English specialist’ we have teaching us now is bareable. Though he did say that we were going to be taking ‘much notes’ in a lesson (rather than many) so he’s definitely not perfect]

{951} My LifeOnline {16/04/17}

Highlighter

I’m very new to the world of wearing highlighter but omg, how did I live without it? Seriously, it’s my new favourite thing ever! When I wear it I feel like a shimmery sparkling mermaid unicorn Tumblr person and I love it!! As I write this, I’m sat outside drinking out of my copper mason jar as the sun begins to set, all with perfectly shimmering cheekbones reflecting off the beams of light shooting through the trees.

I honestly think it’s become my new favourite makeup item and is quickly becoming a key part of my minimal daily makeup routine. It’s got to the point I think if I could only wear one makeup item for the rest of my life it could easily be highlighter.

 

In all honesty, I’m very tempted to buy a rainbow highlighter, obviously just for fun and for photos. I also think I’m going to end up with a vast highlighter collection and in all honestly, I want it to happen!
Do you wear highlighter? Have you ever tried it? Tell me your stories down below!! (Comments are the best, let’s be real!)

{947}  My LifeOnline {15/04/17}

Random Thoughts In A Car

Ugh, I’m bored. And hungry. More bored though.

I woke up this morning with an urgent thought on my mind…the word ‘trashmental’. [EDIT: I’ve commented the meaning of the word in case you wondered haha] Cue me later on looking through my phone notes and spotting that word again this time with a definition. Sorry, what? Apparently sleep deprived me created a whole new word and gave it a definition?? Why am I not that awesome all the time (I’m joking haha)

Music saves the day. Or more, saves me from my current boredom because I am about to go spend a day at a dog rescue shelter so that’s certainly not boring.

H u n g r y.

Oh wait, past me actually remembered to pack some food!

Ooh, are we here? I think we’re here.

I hope we are, I have 1 minute until I’m meant to be there.

[EDIT: Spoiler alert – We weren’t there.]

Me navigating directions is something no one wants to experience.

Cue me asking random strangers if they know which way I’m meant to go.

Damn, the dude I asked didn’t know and the sat nav is useless.

Okay, I just had to phone the place I’m going to to ask for directions, how embarrassing.

I’m just here with my popcorn watching how this plays out

I think we’re going the right way?

Whoooo we found it!!!

Pfffttt, we’re not late….it’s only what, ten minutes after I was supposed to be here?

Huh, I should probably get out the car and stop blogging! Are you guys good at giving directions? Comment below!!

{942} My LifeOnline {14/04/17}

Food

It’s Monday Punday so here’s some puns:

Cheese Puns:

Them: That’s grate, I love cheese

Me: Grate? I can’t brielieve you made a pun

Me: This is Gouda, these puns are just going to get cheddar and cheddar. 

Me: Don’t like them? Guess it’s nacho lucky day

Me: Yes, I will be forever provolone if I continue like this.

Them: Omg these are so good

Me: Unbrielievable, someone actually liked a pun. Only natural, they are so Edam clever (that was cheesy, I know)


Pancake Puns:

Me: Puncake day just créped on by

Them: It was a flipping good day but who gives a toss


Egg Puns:

Them: Only yoking

Me: Oh God, not egg puns, they don’t crack me up

Me: Egg puns scramble my brain

Them: Don’t milk it

Me: How eggquisite, not eggstravagant or eggaggerated at all

Them: Don’t eggsicute me

Me: I’ll leave and listen to some egg Sheeran

Them: How eggdgy 

Me: Eggstremely eggstatic to be making eggceptional and eggraordinary eggstravagant egg puns.

Me: They’re all very eggsplosive and eggciting

Me: I’m eggzausted

Me: Don’t fry and poach and of my yokes.

Me: That’s my last whisky pun

{905} My LifeOnline {10/04/17}